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BOFH Merging Power Index

Pinto vs Pacer: Crappy DeathMatch

Over the past few years I have realized that there is a science to merging on America's roads. The problem is that I'm an engineer, so I like to analyze everything. Especially when I'm bored. In the car. On that crappy drive between Tucson and Phoenix, AZ. So, I developed the Powers' Merging Power Index.

Here is how it works. You calculate your Merging Power Index value, you calculate the Merging Power Index value for your adversary, and the bigger number wins.

Vehicle SizePointsYour Points
Motorcycle0
Sub-compact1
Pinto-1
Compact2
Mid-size3
Full-size4
Luxury1
SUV8
Dump Truck10
Concrete Truck10
18 Wheeler15
Total Points

Wow, looks pretty easy, huh? Of course, that is the easy part. The fun is the modifying factors.

ModificationPointsYour Points
Curb Feelers+1
Visible Body Damage on Merging Side+5
Wood paneling+5
Wood Bumper+3
Mercedes/Lexus/BMW/Porsche/...-5
< 2 years old-2
Temporary Tags-5
Rental Car+5
You made eye contact-5
'Baby on Board'-5
You have 'nose' position+5
Gun Rack+1
Gun in Gun Rack+4
Windows rolled down in Phoenix summer+10
Visible duct tape+1
Duct tape underwear+5
...hanging out of the window+5
Head barely visible over dash+2
...and it has blue hair+5

Naturally, you need to memorize this so that you can calculate your odds of winning quickly. There will be a quiz later.