The Rants,Dennis Miller
Now, this cat has managed to come up with a sweet deal. I mean, he gets paid more money than Samuel Clemens has famous quotes to write these rants for HBO, then he turns around and repackages them. I don't mean to get on a rant here, but do we really need the show, the book and the audio tape, all available at any 24 hour Quickie Mart for the sole purpose of lining his pockets and inflating his ego? Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
(That's what we call parody, for the idiots out there using Exploiter)
Of course we do! This stuff is down right funny. Here is someone who is famous, and NOT politically correct! Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:
Who cares about homosexuality, really? I mean who cares what coupling gives any consenting adult pleasure? All we should care about is that people are going home and getting off, somehow, with someone, anyone. Because a person who gets off tends not to be a nut who gets off offing people. About the only people I might quibble with are bisexuals, because I thnk we all agree at some point that these people are just incredibly greedy motherfuckers. I don't ask much from a human being, but come down off the fence and pick a hole. All right. I don't care what you fuck, but fuck it regularly.pg. 191
Pat Buchanan is so homophobic he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.pg. 192
If you want better service, the next time you see one of those workers in an "employee of the month" photo at a fast-food restaurant, suppress your urge to make your friends laugh by ridiculing the guy as a dork loser with a bad haircut. Instead, why not seek out the guy who actually took pride in doing his job the way it was supposed to be done and thank him for dotting the i's and crossing the t's and making sure there is toilet paper in the stall and ketchup in the dispenser. Make that person feel good because he is the last thin blue collar line between a frayed but still functioning society and full-blown "We'll be there anytime between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. or maybe we won't even show up at all, assface" anarchy. All right?pg. 31
Wow, isn't that touching?